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Dating Down

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How would you rank yourself? An 8 on a good day? A 9 with the right filter? A strong 4? Does the way a person looks or any other signifier (like say income, race, intelligence), does that immediately disqualify them as a potential partner?

Regardless of the hierarchy you endorse/acknowledge/subscribe to , there's an up...and a down. Our show today is about dating down! Our round table discussed whether there's an issue with a phrase in the first place, dating based on someones potential, the difference between the way women and men date down, annnnd deal breakers

I was joined by Kalena Boller (host of the Reel Snobs podcast), a couple of our regulars, Chantia and Ola, and later on was joined by Dr. Synatra to give her take on some of the things discussed by the panel.

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The Best of Inside the Male Mind and Inside the Female Mind

Welcome to the best of Inside the Male Mind and Inside the Female Mind. If this is your first time listening, ITFM and ITMM are podcasts with the goal of understanding why men and women have various views based on their responses to surveys. Check out this brief look back!


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 Inside the Female Mind on Soundcloud

Inside the Female Mind on Soundcloud

 Inside the Female Mind on iTunes

Inside the Female Mind on iTunes

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ITFM in the Media: Legion...or as I Like to Call it “Yet Another Problematic Fave”

WHILE THE INSIDE THE FEMALE MIND PODCAST GIVES A PEEK INTO OUR HABITS AND BELIEFS, ITFM IN THE MEDIA IS A PLATFORM FOR WOMEN TO EXPRESS THEIR VIEWS ON ALL THINGS MEDIA RELATED. LET'S TALK ABOUT SEASON 1 OF LEGION.  

By Synatra aka Dr. Frankenstein

[A recap of my convo with Jazmin]

Season 1 of Legion just wrapped and I feel like I been trippin for the past couple months. The show goes all over the place in terms of questioning what is “reality” and what isn’t. I’d try to explain the premise of the show but honestly I’d end up confusing myself in the process. Just watch it and then come back and read this (promise you’ll come back!). One thing to keep in mind is that the show is set in the 60s….which I’m ashamed to say had to be pointed out to me.

Still don’t know how I missed that! And apparently it was one of Jazmin’s fave parts about the show….that it’s in the 60s...which I missed...what is wrong with me!? Also, it’s lowkey horror, at least to me and my overactive imagination. Anywho, as much as I loved the show for leaving me confused and wanting more every week, there were some huge problems. It’s the same issue I have with most sci-fi, but oh well I’m taking it out on Legion today.

Jazmin pointed out she’d like to see stories like this about POC. “The white male audience hears ‘look at how powerful you are’ like they do in all media.” This is a trope found in many "unlikely hero” stories: David is the special, unique, and powerful savior. They spent at least the first half of the season describing homeboy's power to an almost distracting degree. He has dissociative personality disorder and each identity has powers, which I must admit is impressive. BUT although the character is white in the comics, why not race bend every now and then? Hollywood seems to enjoy doing that when it comes to heroes of color. If white actors can play the role of the Ancient One and the Mandarin, then actors of color can play Legion and nem. #Logic

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And to make things worse, David’s relationship with Syd, the imitation Rogue (is that unfair?), is infuriating. He warns her not to come with him into his memories because he’s a monster and her response is “Do you love me?” which I translated to mean “the way my entitlement is set up…” He’s got a tragically paternalistic relationship with her where her biggest responsibility has been to uplift him because he soooo powerful. Their kiss is what sparks the entire journey 🙄

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The relationship itself was unnecessary and the idea that she should risk herself for love (and more significantly his ascension) because his other personalities like to wild out is….sad.

Then there’s my favorite character to hate, Ptonomy. He’s the only black mutant on the cast so far (because of course there can only be one) and he’s gotta be the most unlikable token I’ve ever encountered (at least that I can think of at the moment).

Here’s my theory about his character: I was listening to an episode of Code Switch and Robin Means Coleman, who analyzes race in horror, explained that the black guy dies first in order to set the bar for the superiority of the white man who will ultimately overcome the monster. She applied a similar concept to the magical negro trope where basically the black guy has powers that are used at the discretion and benefit of the white hero. HE’S THE SAME THING! He’s the vessel for the group to do all the work they need to do. They’re using his data to assist in their analysis. He’s just an instrument of research, like a thermometer or a microscope. He’s got an attitude for no reason and no range of emotions. He’s unlikeable, like a robot. #SunkenPlaceOrNah

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About Kerry/Cary….I almost loved this character (characters?) because I felt like there was a potential to explore two-spiritism and TGNC realities (I also felt this way about David/Lenny) but idk how intentional that correlation is; they miss the mark so much on racialized gender performance so why not other gender realities? They also have another super problematic relationship. Kerry, the Native American girl/young woman, doesn't get to be a full human. Cary, the older white male scientist, dominates the pair. They were born at the same moment but they merged into the same person somehow (I choose not to question fantasy) and Kerry only ages when she’s manifested.

Cary orders Kerry around a lot to assist with his experiments and then she manifests when someone needs to catch those hands. Their entire situationship represents mestizaje! The wild, savage, uncivilized, conquerable, tamable, cultural indigenous woman meets the civilized, superior, Christian, white male master and create the mestizo who traces their culture matrilineally and civility patrilineally. Anglo colonizers used this to justify the inferiority of non-Anglo societies; they set the bar according to their own norms and then demonize the Others.

So another one bites the dust. The show was great in terms of the story, graphics, etc. but my search for sci fi that doesn’t make me feel personally and intellectually offended certainly has not ended.


Dr. Synatra is a recent PhD from the DMV, Netflix extraordinaire, and ex and future travel junkie. She's also a co-host on the Inside the Female Mind podcast

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ITFM in the Media: Inside "The Get Down"

While the Inside the Female Mind podcast gives a peek into our habits and beliefs, ITFM in the Media is a platform for women to express their views on all things media related. So, do you know about the get down? 

***SPOILERS AHEAD*** 

 Herizen F. Guardiola as Mylene Cruz in The Get Down on Netflix. [Poster]

Herizen F. Guardiola as Mylene Cruz in The Get Down on Netflix. [Poster]

 Justice Smith as Ezekiel in The Get Down on Netflix. [Poster]

Justice Smith as Ezekiel in The Get Down on Netflix. [Poster]

Everyone loves a coming of age story and this nostalgia filled Netflix series is no exception. Here are 30 (unfiltered) thoughts Dr. Synatra had as she watched The Get Down.  


 

  • Over here crying listening to this poem about homeboy’s parents. 😖
  • Either I grew up super lame or these people have no idea how girls talk when we’re alone.
  • Love that they're showing the Latin@ side of the black experience. 
  • This is giving me City Of God which is one of my "low-key problematic" faves. Lol.
  • I wish Hollywood would stop perpetuating the myth that black girls don’t like sci-fi.
 Stefanee Martin as Yolanda Kipling in The Get Down on Netflix

Stefanee Martin as Yolanda Kipling in The Get Down on Netflix

  • Yo, who is this predator at the dance contest? This is not ok.
  • I hope they don't want me to feel sorry for Zeek because Mylene doesn't like him back. “I like you so be my girl.”  #BoyBye 👋🏾

  • Jaden is playing a hippie...How unexpected. Lol.

 Jaden Smith as   Marcus 'Dizzee' Kipling in The Get Down on Netflix

Jaden Smith as  Marcus 'Dizzee' Kipling in The Get Down on Netflix

  • Why are the main female roles all tangential to the males? Can we exist in and of ourselves? #BechdelTest  #ManicPixieDreamGirl

  • Mylene's friends are going get her caught up. Don't trust them girl! 

  • Jaden might be my favorite character. This fool said the whole scientific name for acid and is clearly high as a kite. 😆

  • Is Papa Fuerte really schemin' on his sister-in-law though? #Basura 🚮

  •  I wonder if this is intentionally a hip-hopera. 🤔 I like it artistically. The music. The imagery. The timeline shifts. The insertion of real footage. 

 Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as Cadillac in The Get Down on Netflix

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as Cadillac in The Get Down on Netflix

  • Shao is a hater. Always got something slick to say about Zeek’s tenderoni.

  • Interesting. The only addict is a white man.

  • I pray there's a day when POC don't have to be hyperaware of their socioeconomic status and poverty.

  • These dudes stay turning on each other.

  • I don't think they've given me a single sympathetic character....maybe I'm just evil. Lol.

  • Bromance or romance....please give me this interracial hippie graffiti gay couple with Jaden and the Thor guy. Give me inclusivity!

  • Ok, found my sympathetic character. Absolutely love Jaden's graffiti artist role. Super intrigued by the potential of his story line.

  Jaden Smith meets Thor    as  Marcus 'Dizzee' Kipling in The Get Down on Netflix

Jaden Smith meets Thor  as  Marcus 'Dizzee' Kipling in The Get Down on Netflix

 

  • Mylene and her girls better harmonize!
  • This Bruce Leroy a** dude and his samurai sword...I can't.

  • My man Papa Fuerte is spilling ALL the beans! Told Big Brother AlmightTEEE’s whole life! Family secrets will get you caught up EVERY TIME! 

  • So, basically Shaolin is the ace of his line.

  • I really don't like this power struggle sequence in episode 6. It likens powerful women (specifically) to the devil on men’s shoulders.

  • I literally just learned everyone’s names and the show is basically over.

  • YES VOGUINGGGGGGG. Yes queer dance scene! Yes to Dizzee's first boy kiss! Yes to this entire scene!!!

  • This Star Wars entrance is everything.
 The Get Down on Netflix. Rap and dj battle

The Get Down on Netflix. Rap and dj battle

  • Oh, so now Mylene's in love. Yeah ok.

  • Wait THIS is what Mylene looks like IRL!? They played all of us. That wig was so horrible. I feel lied to. 

 Herizen F. Guardiola

Herizen F. Guardiola

 

What ran through your head as you watched? Modern classic or problematic? Comment below.


Dr. Synatra is a recent PhD from the DMV, Netflix extraordinaire, and ex and future travel junkie. She's also a co-host on the Inside the Female Mind podcast

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Training and Manipulating Men

Since the beginning of time, there've been stories about women trying to influence men, often to their detriment. whether it's Eve convincing Adam to eat the apple. Or the Sirens tempting Odysseus and his men to their death. 

The cunning woman dumping the unassuming man is a trope we're all familiar with.

According to a survey done by the UK telegraph, 31.7% of women said they believe they can change a man. While  68.2% said you can't and you're pretty much with the wrong person.

So, we're talking about 3 things. Changing men, training men, and manipulation.

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Can a Woman Ever Really Change a Man

 

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Catcalling

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Daddy Issues

As father's day, or as I've heard on twitter, Facebook Armageddon approaches, we see conversations popping up about everything from the joys of fatherhood to the pain of abandonment. One of the most facinating things about humans is the power and impact a parent can have. For better or worse. 

Daddy issues, for example, which is the topic on our roundtable, can be attributed to the pain felt and actions taken due to something their father did or didn't do. 

This week I wanted to share one of our Inside the Male Mind after shows. Our all female roundtable opens up about daddy issues, how it impacts dating and more! This was one of my favorites. Enjoy! 

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Feminism

On this episode of Inside the Female Mind we're talking about our second favorite F word..feminism. AKA the best way to polarize your closest friends and family. We’ve got questions on race, the work place, and relationships. And as a bonus, we have some guys joining us! So, take a listen and let’s find out if Jazmin knows any of those mythical male feminist creatures.

 


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If you like the show the most helpful thing you can do is leave an iTunes review and share it with your friendsand family. We appreciate it! To join the conversation like our Facebook page at Facebook.com/insidethefemalemind or tweet us at the handle @itfemalemind.

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What is the Inside the Female Mind Podcast about? Take a listen and subscribe today!

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